Outsiders view of the club – #2 of 3

My focus today is to actually talk about the club itself, its setup, amenities and atmosphere

General setup I have seen is that there is a general entry area with someone working a front desk to check ID’s, memberships and all of that.  Since cell phones and the like aren’t allowed in the main area (for obvious reasons), you normally leave those up front with a tag on them so if some sort of SOS or something comes up they can find you and let you know.  This really isn’t so bad.  It allows you to focus on having a good time without the constant interruptions.  Also how often is there an emergency on a Friday or Saturday night.

Once you are in there is a variety of settings to explore.  There is almost always a kitchen or food area provided. Since all are normally private clubs, members often bring in food or there is some provided.  You can also bring in mixers but most of the time they are there.  As a private club it is BYOB so definitely bring what you like to drink and possible share if people are interested.  I found the food to hit the spot.

There is normally a social seating area with their being traditional table/chair setup and also couches or loveseats too for comfortable environment.  Dance floor seems to be a requirement and there is always music to keep the scene moving.

From there you might have other entertainment like pool tables or other games, which to me is a big boon.  It always a way for you to talk with people while entertaining yourself.  A great stress reliever.

There are lockers too so that you can store items away while not in use.  You can bring pretty much whatever in like sheets, pillows, pillowcases, change of clothing for different sorts of play, props and anything else that accentuates the play.

There will of course be bathrooms but normally as well a shower if the club is an overnite establishment.  Some allow staying normally on a Saturday night.

Now where the variety comes is in the themed rooms.  So in any one establishment you could find a glory hole, sex chair, sex swing, doctors style bench, curtain room so you can’t see who is behind it, rooms with no doors, rooms with themed decorations (think hippie, modern, old timey).  There are also rooms with various size mattresses so king for group play, queen/full for normally a couple and I have even seen just twins.  Most rooms have doors to allow for privacy if desired but otherwise you could see just about anything in an open door setting.

One other thing you will see is nudity (male and female).  Imagine that in a swingers club.  But you will so don’t gawk as it is a normal sight.  This is one place that people can be free from what society says is acceptable when it comes to nudity.

I will talk about rules and etiquette in my next post.

KJ

 

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Outsiders view of a Swingers Club – #1 of 3

So I am pretty open and willing to experience things in life.  Roller coasters not enjoyable but have tried it, lima beans not enjoyable but have tried it, swingers club went to it but didn’t try it but it was enjoyable.

I first of all will state that I am not a swinger nor have I engaged in the swinger lifestyle.  I personally though do think it is pretty interesting lifestyle and also I had a lot of fun being inside of the experience that goes on.

I get why people engage in swinging and why they go to clubs for it.  I always assumed that it was only couples and no single people attending.  Well that is pretty wrong I found out.  It is a place for everyone to have an opportunity to play.  I mean single women (normally in a group), single men (normally one-off) and couple all have a place in this little dance.

The couples dynamic is very interesting.  From observing most of the couples I saw were built pretty much the same way at the club I attended.  Bicurious female and straight male.  Not saying that is always true but it played out that way as normally it was single women or the woman from another couple that joined in for fun and either the man went back to watch or maybe participate or sit in the main room and talk with others.

Females seem to alway shave open and available partners while the men still have opportunities but they are limited in actual application.  Not really a surprise considering how at a normal club scene the same applies.  But the men there as part of a couple really do enjoy that their woman is getting her desires satisfied and really never displayed any jealousy or tension outwardly that I could tell.

They all have rules of engagement such as:

  • Never play without the other ones presence
  • Never play at home
  • Never play with a single (couples only)
  • Never allow kissing with the opposite sex

Truthfully the options were endless based on the comfort levels of the individual and the strength of their internal relationship together.  That is an interesting dynamic within all of this.  Relationships that are weak could probably never survive being exposed and participating in swinging.  I mean for you to let another person do things that you consider yours and not have it eat at you is a very hard thing to do.  If you are the jealous sort then also don’t take it up.

I will say that the people were pretty amazing.  Friendly, and open were the 2 things I really noticed.  There wasn’t much pretense.  i mean you could simply just go sit down at a table and strike up conversation and just talk.  Of course being a man you have lots of things that can be distracting but overall everyone is there to first and foremost have a good time.

I had a great time and since there was food there, free games and sights to see i will go back anytime I can break free.

King Size Mattress Beds

Pretty random title right.  Well I will say it now.  Want to keep having more frequent sex, then don’t buy a king size bed!!

Yes I said it  Keep that full size, keep that queen and say no to the king.  Yes that is right say no to the king.

People may be asking why the size of the bed.  I say based on science that proximity leads to more sex.  I mean every study you see with animals like rats, mice and other mammals that when space is limited and the stress levels rise that more frequency of intercourse happens.

twin bed pic

twin bed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t all of us remember when having a twin or full size mattress how much you used to engage with significant others.  Rutting like moose.

Well I don’t know how many of you have slept on a twin bed recently but I will say it is just as comfortable as a king but only when on it alone.  Maybe they had it right on I Love Lucy.  Sleep alone and come together when needed.

Wait on second thought maybe it those darn kids that came from the twin/full size beds that could be the problem.  Oh well, think on it and see if you remember those times on a smaller bed and the fun that was had.

Have a great day!

My 3 Rules

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So at about the age of 21 I had come up with 3 rules that really influenced my life and I figured I would share them.

1)  You are in control of your reactions and no one else.  So when something external happens, you determine whether it pisses you off, makes your happy or whatever.  Control your reactions and it helps reduce stress and bad days.

2)  Its not what a woman says it is how she says it, it isn’t how a man says it it is what it says.  This may be why I get along with just about everyone that I choose to.

3)  Understand your tolerance for unhinged people.  If you can’t handle it, then don’t make them a big part of your lives.  That goes for friends, relationships or anything else.

Saved me a lot of mental sanity by following these rules.  Have a great time and if anybody has any other rules that would be helpful, please share.

A Break

man I had lots of stuff planned to write and it all left me when I found out on Friday that my work didn’t need me going forward due to cost cutting.

I was disappointed because it had to have been something previously considered. Just give me a heads up. I am a temp so It comes with the territory but oh well.

Well luckily get to go on vacation next week with family down at Tybee Island. Looking hard for something new and reliable this week.

Tomorrow will be a definite uplifting post, lol.

KJ

Internet Tough Guys, Bad Girls

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So I chat a lot with random people, blog and go to others and forums and stuff.  I am at odds to understand what I call the phenomena of “Tough Guy, Bad Girl” internet syndrome.  Before the text and everything, you know when people actually talked over the phone, this occurred a lot also.

You know the times when you were talking to lets say an ex or something and you get this certain bravado and say stuff you would never do in real life.  When you get done with the conversation you wonder if you actually said that.  Most of the time it was things you regretted.

Well the internet has it bad now.  People you have never talked to will suddenly try and jump all over your stuff because they feel they can.  Say just about anything, be offensive, obstinate, disrespectful to get a point across with a complete stranger.  And all the while you as the recipient of this behavior knows that they wouldn’t have the courage to say that to your face.

The other is in chat rooms with women who suddenly loose all manners of decorum because they have the anonymity of the internet.  I have heard stuff or language that just makes me chuckle.  I don’t understand this either.

Me, I say what I want, when I want, regardless of in face, over phone or whatever.  Why, because I am a grown man.  I can handle the consequences of it and it is who I am.  I will conform to get along with new groups of people, I will dumb myself down in certain situations because my goal is not to embarrass other people.  I will embarrass myself, why I am content with myself and in who I am.  It only took me 25 years, so now 13 years later I can have fun with that knowledge.

I don’t know, a conversation I had with someone online yesterday stoked this thought in my brain and I figured I would get it down.

The Dark Side

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dark side

Raise your hand if you have a dark side. Not everyone’s hand raised up. Liars is what I say. Some of the nicest people I have ever met, has a dark side. It is called the I am not happy place. Normally you can tell when people are visiting this place.

How you may ask? Well from my experience lets go with the following:

Person is normally talkative and smiles a lot – well they are quiet and introspective
Person is normally quite and a frowner – well they are quieter and more introspective

There you go, it isn’t so hard. Everyone has thoughts that aren’t constructive, nice or even morally right. But is that a bad thing, I know it isn’t.

Why? Well how many of us remember when we were kids. I can barely remember the amount of freedom of thought you have back then. You don’t have freedom of action but you can think it and not have to analyze the who’s, why’s, where’s or how’s like you do in adulthood. I mean everything seems like it needs a reason in the world today.

For me I used to dream and remember them. Now I don’t remember any dreams. It is kind of sad. I used to have recurring dreams that most of the times lifted my day when I woke up. Nightmares after watching scary movies used to be common in my childhood. One day when I was 14, I read a book that said you can control/guide your dreams to avoid nightmares. Well that worked and has from then on.

I believe you can guide those dark thoughts to find out why you are in the dark to begin with. What most of us need and don’t get is lack of stimulus for an extended amount of time while having energy.

If you have kids, then good luck with that while they are awake. When they are asleep you are normally drained from the day. If you are single, you have lots of opportunities to introspect and search for answers. But most of the time, you try and fill time up with things.  My married friends are trying to find time together but they never seem to seek it alone for themselves, my single friends try and fill every moment up with something else.  It’s seems like lots of people don’t like to be with just themselves.  Maybe I am a different cat.

Having downtime at your own haven is the best thing in the world. You shouldn’t try and be on duty all the time in the outside world. You don’t need to share them, dwell in them and do with them as you choose.

You don’t have to be happy and go lucky all the time. you don’t need to fill the roles that people impress upon you all the time. you don’t need to do anything that isn’t in your best interests all of the time. Take your time and use it for yourself when you need it.

This was a weird post, it popped into my head on my drive to work. Tomorrows won’t be so random. Haha.

Committed men and no female friends? Don’t get it!

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So I read an advice column just this weekend and I was astonished (not really) at what she told this guy.

So here was a single man after 10 years of marriage. He started a Facebook account in order to stay in touch with women he had was interested or ones that maybe they went on a date and they didn’t match but they stayed friends. So majority of his Facebook friends were women. He started to date an ex and she got upset about this fact and stated to him that when you are with someone your GF/Spouse should be the only female friend you need. The advice columnist stated that that sounded a little controlling and close-minded but he should really evaluate his Facebook to see if it really was just his need for female attention and maybe she has a point.

I read it and almost laughed out of my seat. What kind of advice is that? First of all, men don’t use Facebook to communicate with other men. Older men (over 30) get together with their friends and connect that way. Facebook is for acquaintances. So of course a single guy getting back into the dating scene will probably have a lot more female friends than men.

But that isn’t my true issue with it. My question is why would a women want her man to only have male friends? That is some ridiculous stuff. So I am just supposed to throw out my friends who are women just so I can be with you. I will say it now, that I have friends who are women that I value more than I do. Relationships can be brief, but true friends are forever.

I have seen many people close down relationships with friends just to be with a man/woman. I call them idiots to their faces. Your eggs even in marriage don’t go in one basket. You need a support structure outside of just your significant other, family. Friends will shoot it straight and have your back.

When that advice columnist, turned it around to make it seem like he had a problem, I won’t read that again.

Women need male friends and Men need female friends outside of their relationships, period. If you don’t like that thought then maybe you need to evaluate your own possessive/jealousy issues instead.

Life without TV

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So it has been months without TV service.  As a former TV addict, I must say that I haven’t really missed it much this summer.  The shows I miss are public stations which show random Andy Griffith, I Love Lucy and other shows like that.  Without it the ability to do other things not being tied to watching a tv has been useful.

I have gotten my business website template done, I have structured my sports duties, cleaned up my hobby area and all that other time has gone to some good sleep.  Working out is now becoming a routine thing again to do and I am starting to feel so much more energetic again.

Which carries over to another benefit of no TV, more loving as you have to find something to fill in the time, I say fill it in with something desirable.

What other stuff can you think of that benefits with no TV.

Dating sites – Chemistry.com, Speeddate.com, Match.com

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So I am still trying to find the point of these sites.  So you go online and become a free member.  They send you matches and other blasts of emails with potential dates.  So put the candy out there and see who bites.

You see a lady that looks interesting and that is supposed to make me want to spend $150 a year just so I can talk to her online or talk through common methods.  Please, come up with a better hook.

Every site needs to give a 3 day trial without tying it to a credit card to give people a taste of what it is like by being a full member.  This also means you don’t have to go through the convoluted process to cancel your membership before you get charged.  Make more things an opt-in to cancel and not an opt-out and people will try it out.

I am going to experiment with the 3-day for Match.com and see what kind of fish I can snag.  Just looking to go out on adventures so a lot different then looking for my next mate.  It will be a crazy 3-days after I sign up.  I will keep people posted for sure.

My ratings of these sites is below:

Chemistry.com – joke you mean, I don’t need to know what personality you think they have.  I for one can tell that after talking live with someone for 5 minutes.  I don’t really need that long but some people make horrible first impressions.  It is a joke of a site, don’t waste your money on it.

Speeddate.com – you can’t speed-date over the internet so give it up.  This site lets you speeddate for 5 minutes through a slow as hell chat room. Then you are supposed to make a decisions about them in that timeframe.  So if you aren’t a member you can’t even read the messages people send to you.  They also put out there dummy accounts to try and intice people to join to meet these fake people.  Since most of the people on there aren’t members it really is worthless.

Match.com – I will rate this one later.  It looks more hopeful then the others.  I will do a 3 day trial of it and let you know what I truly think about it.  Maybe progress over the 3 days.

Not too controversial for a first post,

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